


Of Monsters and Men

by AntiSocialOptimist



Category: Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Broken Promises, Cheating, Comforting, Confusion, Depression, F/F, F/M, Gay/Straight, Insecurity, Loss, Love and hate relationships, Next Door Neighbors, Romance, Sex, Temptation, Trust Issues, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-06-02 16:56:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6574405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntiSocialOptimist/pseuds/AntiSocialOptimist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura Hollis, a woman who is shy and quiet for important reasons moves into a new apartment with a mysterious someone living across the hall. Thinking she can take care of herself she ignores the help of others and believes that sometimes it's safer to be oblivious than to drag loved ones into her mess. How long will it take for her to realize the cuts and bruises are not an act of love?</p><p>Relationships can either bring happiness or sadness, *most* of the time it's that simple.  </p><p>*This is my first fic*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stay away from me

   Looking around in her new hollow apartment, a warm smile touches Laura's face with the idea that she may finally have a place to call home. Yes, it may be small and not be as grand as the apartments that were way out of her budget but it will do just fine. Noticing the clutter of unpacked moving boxes Laura sets to work on unloading their contents and putting them in their designated places around her new home.

                                                                                                  ----------------------

   You glance at the newly installed clock and see that you has been unpacking for several hours and conclude that you deserve a much needed break. Getting up a stretching your limbs from their soreness you throw on your favorite "Doctor Who" sweater and head to the door. But before you turn the handle you peek through its peephole to see if there is anyone standing in the hallway. To your relief no one seems to be present. Taking the emptiness to your advantage you quickly hurry out of your apartment and close the door with a twist of a key, securing the lock. As you turn around to head toward the stairs you crash into an unfamiliar body behind you.

   "Hey! Watch it!" the stranger doesn't really seem to notice your presence because she is too busy picking up her groceries off of the floor...that you have rudely bumped out of her arms.

   "Umm.. I'm sorry, I wasn't looking and just trying to leave my apartment so I could take a break from unpacki-" your voice slowly started to die out because of the intensity of the gaze the raven haired girl is giving towards you. The stranger shook her head as if to shake a trance occurring within in her brain.

   "It's okay sweetheart, it's my fault, my names Carmilla," she tries to stick her hand out to give you a shake but quickly realizes the overload of shopping bags within her arms so she just gives you a small wave. You sigh with relief, _if only she knew how much you hated being touched._ She looks at you as if she's waiting for an answer, "and you are...?"

   "Oh right, I'm Laura, well I have to get going... bye," before you could give her a chance to answer you quickly half walk/half run to the stairs, so you don't have to encounter a conversation with her any longer. 

                                                                                                  ----------------------

  About a week has past and throughout the week you have learned that Carmilla is your neighbor across the hall, she likes to wear black and she has a girlfriend named Ell and a few times you have looked through your peephole and witnessed a few make-out sessions between them. You have a encountered her on a few occasions but did not let her speak, you just gave her a slight nod with your head and scurried off in another direction.

  Thankfully your new job starts in a few days and your life can return back to normal. You are just itching to write a story for an event again and hopefully your new job at the "Daily Gazette" will fulfill its purpose. But even the excitement from writing again _well your basically and assistant_ has been washed over by the mysterious presence of Carmilla. _No, Laura are you stupid! You have a boyfriend.., well would you call him that? And what did we agree on, no attachments, remember what happened last time you got to close to someone._ You shiver with fear and agree with yourself that under no condition you will not make any friends. ~~Oh how wrong she was.~~  

                                                                                                   ---------------------  

   The sun is shinning down on your smiling face, which hasn't occurred in a long long time. You had zero encounters with nosy neighbors and you haven't received any messages from him. Walking down the street and taking in your new surroundings you spot a cozy cafe with chocolate muffins in its shop window that have your name written all over it. You push the door open and are greeted with an aroma of sweet baked goods and vanilla. Slowly approaching the counter you are met with a red head twice the size of you, which requires you to bend your neck upward to meet her eye.

  "Hello! Welcome to 'Sweet Treats and Coffee' What can I get for you?" Looking down at her name tag you see it reads Danny.

  "Hi. Can I get a medium hot chocolate and a chocolate muffin?" you reply with a forced smile as you take out your wallet.

  "Alright coming right up and that will be free of charge," you try to object but she cuts you off, "since I can tell you are new around here take it as a gift for welcoming you to Silas."

  "Thanks." I reply with an irritated tone, that goes unnoticed by the tall woman. 

  "Well if you haven't read my name tag by now my name is Danny" she thrusts her hand out for you to shake it, "and yours?"

  "Laura." You ignore the hand and decide to be more interested in your shoes. This time Danny notices your attitude and decides to hand you your muffin and hot chocolate. Before you can give a quick thanks, your phone buzzes in your jeans pocket. You pull out the device to see you texted you... its him.....

 

**Wilson:** _Hey babe, be at my place in 10. Don't be late, I won't tolerate it._

  Your entire body falls. You thought if you moved far away he would forget about you. It's apparent that he hasn't. Your mood change is noticed by Danny but before you let her ask 'What's wrong.' You utter a quick "bye" and out the door you go, but before you leave you dump your muffin and hot chocolate in the trash. Looking down at your watch you realize you can't stop off by your apartment to grab an extra change of clothes you head towards his place, praying that your not late. ~~If only you knew you would be.~~

 

                                                                                                   ---------------------

  ...he was rough with you, _again._ You just have stepped out of his apartment feeling the soreness throughout your body. You can feel the gash in your lips and the hard hits towards the leg make you whimper as you limp on home. A 20 minute walk has turned into an hour, since the pain from your body only lets you go one speed which is slow.

  Tired and exhausted you pass the fully functioning elevator and head towards the stairs where you are not looking forward to the three levels of incline. Finally making it to your floor you pull out your keys so you can make it quickly to your door. Pointing your eyes to the floor and getting ready to round the corner and into the safety of your apartment.

  You hear a thud and see someone has dropped their laundry basket in front of you and a pair of arms wrap around your body in an attempt to what,  _comfort you? protect you? save you?_ You look up to Carmilla almost shielding you from the world and trying to urge you towards her apartment. She finally notices your leg and makes the decision to carry you like a child. With your hips around her waist and face right next to hers. The sudden movement of picking you up caught you off guard and causes you to breathe hard which happens to blow on her neck, causing goosebumps to appear on her skin.

  She manages to open her door and set you her couch, "Everything will be alright, Laura. I'll be right back." After she turned out the door to retrieve her laundry basket, you limp as fast as you can, out the door, across the hall to your apartment and unlock your door before she realizes your gone. All you can do now is slide down on the other side of the door and cry. _No attachments, no friends, no one gets hurt._


	2. A New Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura starts her new job but is met with an unexpected someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One part of this chapter is a little dark so I decided to not go into a lot of detail within that section

You can hear a gentle knock on the door. You don't have to look through the peephole to know it's Carmilla. "Hey sweetheart, you know I can help you. Just please stop ignoring me and open this door. Everything will be okay just talk to me and we can work things out."

Her voice has created a soothing effect that washes over your body with every word that escapes from her mouth. Before you know what your doing your hand is on the handle of the door separating the both of you. You jump back in surprise which causes you to whimper in pain from your injuries that have seemed to slip your mind. When your attention returns back to the door you can hear Carmilla arguing with another girl that you infer to be her girlfriend. You hug your face to the door to hear their conversation.

"-she needs help. I don't know how your just standing around her doing nothing when someone is in trouble!"

"Carmilla why are you helping her? Why is she so important to you for me to find you banging on some random neighbors door at night? Are you... are you fucking her?!"

"Jeez no Ell how could you say just a thing?" By now you removed your head from the door to take a glance through the peephole. You see Carmilla pulling herself closer to her and talking very slowly. "I only love you. No one else. I just look at her and am reminded of someone that's all. There is nothing for you to worry about."

"Okay okay, I believe you. Lets just get back into the apartment I'm tired and my boss was being a raging bitch again and has given me a ton of work but he said we were going to get some help around the offic-" you pull away from the door not wanting to hear anymore. But you take one last look and see Carmilla being dragged into her apartment still staring at your door.

You slowly head to your bathroom to see that damage he has done. You have to take short breaks because every time you put pressure on your leg is feels like it's on fire. You finally stumble your way into bathroom and look yourself in the mirror. You are not surprised with what is staring back at you. Looking at your face a large gash is visible on your lower lip, from being late to his apartment. Pulling the hem of your shirt down a little farther you can see the imprint of his hands around your neck. You feel wetness on your cheeks and you look up to see if there is a broken pipe above you that's dripping water, but you realize that you are crying. Wiping the tears from your face you let you eyes roam the damage that has been done to your body. They finally rest on your leg. You shimmy out of your blue jeans as best as you could without injuring yourself any further. You look and see that there is a large purple bruise covering your thigh. With a little more inspection you can see tiny patches of bruises around your inner thighs and further up but your underwear is obstructing your view. Not wanting to investigate anymore you pull on your fuzzy pajama bottoms and over sized t-shirt that belongs to your dad. Before you can exit the bathroom to grab an ice pack you see it staring at you. Tucked in its usual corner near the sink the shiny, small, metal object is calling your name. Begging you to run it across your skin, wanting to see the red liquid that escapes your body. You pick it up without hesitation and lock the door out of habit even though no one will come bursting though the door.   

                                                                                                  -------------------------

Waking up from a restless sleep you start getting ready for your first day at work. You can't believe you got a job as an assistant at the "Daily Gazette," one of the most respected newspaper firm in Silas. As you get ready a small smile has touched your face and for once you are happy. Tugging on your favorite blue button up shirt with small white anchors on it, a tight fitted blazer, and some dress pants you head to the bathroom to add some finishing touches. Not brushing your hair the night before it is in tangles and a bit greasy from forgetting to take a shower. Doing the best that you can you get it free of knots and let is fall down your shoulders. Next is makeup, normally you apply only a little because you are not a fan of drawing attention to yourself but you don't think showing up with a split lip on the first day would be professional. You apply a deep red lipstick to your lips, which was the only color that would hide the gash. Then you add a little bit of foundation and cover up to hide the already fading bruise that happened a few weeks ago. A little bit of mascara and your done. Opting to skip breakfast since you haven't fully unpacked you head out the door and surprisingly you have no encounter with Carmilla. Heading to the stairs you begin to head to a fresh start in your life. 

Arriving at the "Silas Gazette" you stare in awe at how magnificent the inside of the building looks. Slowly approaching the front desk you meet a nice woman who tells you to go to floor 37 and talk to Betty for further information. Seeing that you can't walk up 37 flights of stairs you slowly walk to the elevator with trembling legs. You push yourself onward with all of the strength you have left. _Laura your fine, just breathe and this will all be over. You are not at his apartment, you are about to start a new job and you are going to be happy. So stick a smile on your face and get on the stupid elevator._ You look to see that the elevator is open and waiting for you to step in. Luckily no one else is in it so if you faint then at least you won't embarrass yourself. With shaky legs you walk in and turn around to press the 37 button on the wall. You close your eyes thinking it will make you feel better but you end up just feeling even more dizzy. Before you have the chance to throw up, the elevator dings telling you that it is the end of your journey. The doors open painfully slow and you finally see your future.

Cubicles lined in neat rows with people typing away praying that their story is the next big thing. Looking to the right there is an enormous bulletin board with pictures and letters scattered along with filled with the newest events. Off to the left are clear glass offices and you guess those are for the editors and the people higher up on the ladder. Your look of awe is stopped short by a woman quickly approaching you. "Hi you must be Laura, Laura Hollis?"

"Yes that's me, are you Betty?"

"Yes, the one and only. So as you can tell we are a little short staffed because most people who apply here for a job do not have the credentials we are looking for. So you will be starting as an assistant for one of our higher up editors. Her name is Ell and she insists everyone calls her Miss Ell, something about not liking her last name or something. Anyway you will find her office on the first one on the left. Just go in there introduce yourself and see if she needs anything."  You give her a curt nod and head over to Ells office. _Why does that name seem so familiar?_ Your question was soon answered because as soon as you walked through the door you remember who it is.

                                                                                            -----------------------------

So Carmilla's girlfriend can be a raging bad person. The instant she saw you she recognized you as the girl Carmilla has been seen talking to. Without hesitation she hands you a stack of files and orders you to look for grammatical errors and any other mistakes within the paperwork. You take the bundle of files to your new desk that Betty has assigned to you and start the long process of fixing her mistakes. Not to be rude but there are a lot. As a sweet gesture Betty decided to assign you a desk right next to Ells office so if she needs anything you can attend to her needs. "Laura! Come in here I need you to finish some important paperwork!" You let out a sigh because you haven't even finished the papers she first assigned you. You step into her office, "Laura as you may know I am well respected around here and one simple phone call could get you fired," she notices the confused look on you face, "don't think I don't know what is going on between you and Carmilla. We have been together for 5 years. Don't think just because your all sad and mopey and 'oh Carmilla save me from my troubles' that she will leave me for you. You Miss Hollis are worthless, you are nothing, you are the ground beneath my feet so don't you dare talk to Carmilla ever again. Is that clear?" You open your mouth to protest that she is the one not leaving you alone but Ell cuts you off. "Is that clear?!" All you do is nod your head. "Good now that clears everything up, get me a coffee, non fat vanilla soybean, three creams and two sugars and make it quick before I loose my temper."

Nodding your head and rushing out of her office you head to the coffee station you saw when you first walked in. Unfortunately being yelled at made you forget what she wanted and you didn't want to risk going back in her office and asking what she wanted again. So you start pouring random ingredients into a cup and pour in the coffee. Which smells like yuck because eww coffee is nasty. When your done stirring the cups contents you speed walk to her office while carefully trying not to spill anything. You hand it to her and she takes one sip and spits the coffee onto you. You look down to see your favorite shirt ruined by a large brown stain of coffee. "You call that coffee? Look at the mess you have made go home. I can't have you around this office looking this unprofessional. Go home and come back tomorrow and try not to repeat the mistakes you have made today." You give her a nod and as your leaving the door she adds, "And don't forget our conversation earlier." You walk as fast as you can gather your blazer and the stack of unfinished files and head towards the stairs. You choose to not have another panic attack by avoiding the elevator.

                                                                                             ---------------------------------

Seeing the familiarity of the apartment  building and heading towards its stairs to your apartment you finally shut down. Sitting on the first step you take the back of your hand and wipe it against your lips to try and get rid of the lipstick. The tears falling from your face has already messed up your foundation and mascara and in all honesty you don't care. Believing your pity party should be taken into your apartment you force yourself to walk up the stairs. As you round the corner to the door of your apartment you see her.

Carmilla.

Shes just sitting there, her eyes closed with her back against your apartment door.

You realize she hasn't seen you so you carefully take a step back but a creaking noise comes from the ground. Her eyes snap open and she turns to look at you. She get ups from the spot on the floor but doesn't say a word she walks towards you, but you take a step back. Her pleading eyes make you stop from running away. She slowly approaches you again and wraps her body around yours into a tight hug. She buries her head into your neck and you can feel the tears from her eyes on your skin. The voice in your head is telling you to push away but for once you ignore it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment and spread your love or hate about my first fic  
> I have not decided when I am updating,  
> Comment any suggestions about the story if you  
> want something added to the plot :)


	3. Drunken Nights=Sober Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Carmilla needs "help" getting into her apartment, but in the end who needs the most saving?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for not updating sooner.  
> I just got back from The 1975 concert  
> so I'm not really awake right now.  
> Also sorry for the short chapter but  
> it's better than nothing

She smells different than what you had expected. You look down to the mess of raven colored curls and see that she is not letting go of her tight grip anytime soon. Knowing that you should end this encounter before she thinks anything more of it, you slowly start pulling away. This seems to pull Carmilla out of her trance, "No... no please don't leave. I, I nn-need you." You soon realize her tipsy state and try your best to reason with her before she does something that she will regret.

"Carmilla you are drunk. I am going to take you to your apartment so you can go get some rest. Okay?" You snap your fingers in front of her gorgeous brown eyes to gain her attention. Hooking her arm around your shoulder you lead her to the other side of the hall, you reach for the doorknob and twist but it is locked. Turning your attention back to the beautiful mess next to you, "Hey Carmilla, where are your keys? Carmilla. Carmilla?" The gaze she is giving you is just as intense as the one when you first saw her in the hall. Your lack of talking seems to give her a que that she should say something.

"My keysss. Hmmm I dd-on't remember where I pp-ut them," she replied with a sly smile. "Maybe they arr-e in my pockets but I can't seem to get my hand in there." You realize that if you don't help her that it will take all night. Removing her arm from your shoulder you lean her on the wall right next to her door. She seems to be sober enough to support her own weight.

"Okay Carmilla, I am going to help you find your keys and then you will go in your apartment and get some sleep. Okay?" You realize that her silence is better than an incoherent reply. You start with the front pockets of her tight, like as tight as they make them, skinny jeans. Fishing your hand in the front left pocket you find it empty when reaching to the right you feel Carmilla's head fall onto your shoulder, choosing to ignore her action you find that the right pocket is empty also. Instead of turning her entire body around you take a half step closer to her and snake your hand around her body to reach her back pockets. Before you can look in the back pockets you feel Carmilla's body slowly falling down the wall and closer to the ground. Thinking ahead you don't want to pick her up off of the floor after the crappy day at work and you realize the ache you still have all over your body. Forcing yourself to get closer to her to avoid the chance of her falling you see how close in proximity you are. You feel the slight warm breeze of her breath on your neck, the way her chest is touching yours, the way her breath hitched when your bodies touched and you start to see her lifting her head to look into your eyes. The thought of finding her keys is out of your mind when Carmilla leans her head down and touches her forehead against yours. You are trying to ingrain all of her features into memory because you know this will never happen again. You notice the color of her eyes and how deep and rich they truly are and when you look close enough you can see an outline of a contact and imagine the way she looks in glasses. Your curiosity takes you down to her lips and you can see how full they are and how much you want to press your lips against hers.

You think Carmilla is doing the same because she opens her mouth and whispers, "You're beautiful." Before you know it you're leaning in closer to the lips that have been the only thing on your mind the entire night, until you lean too close and smell the stale whiskey on her breath. You quickly pull away leaving a confused and pained expression on Carmilla's face. Before you give her a chance to speak you slip your hand into her last two pockets and notice the keys are nowhere to be found. 

"Carmilla where the frilly hell are your keys! You know what I. Don't. Care. I've had a rough day, you know for once I was actually happy. When I woke up I actually wanted to get out of bed and when I got to my job and found out that the girl that you fuck is my boss my day turned upside down. So now I'm coming home from work with one of my favorite shirts ruined by coffee by yours truly and I see you in front of my door looking all sad and lonely looking for attention for when your girlfriend is not home. I'm not something you can play with for when you are bored. Why should I have to be the one to clean up your mess for your actions of going to some club and drinking until you can't see straight. No. Just no. I am not letting another person control my life, I already have enough of that." You realize that you have already said too much and hope that her drunk state didn't pick up on your slip up. But the way she is looking at you right now tells you that she heard everything. She takes a step forward causing you to take one back and yet again before you can run away she reaches out a grabs your wrists. This causes you to yelp out in pain from the activities you did the night before. You see the fabric of your blazer riding up exposing the inside of your wrist. The image of tiny red slits covering your arm flashes in front of you but also in front of Carmilla. Her tight grip loosens and you see her staring at your arms as she pushes up the blazer even further her eyes following the trail that marks your arms. 

She suddenly stops and looks up at you with pained eyes, "Why?" You are on the verge of breaking down and telling her about everything when a voice stops that possibility of you crying.

"Miss Hollis what the hell do you think you are doing?" You don't have to look up to see who it is, but you will yourself to lift up your head and are met with the piercing eyes of your boss, Ell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment and spread your love or hate about my first fic  
> I have not decided when I am updating,  
> Comment any suggestions about the story if you  
> want something added to the plot :)


	4. In with the old, out with the new

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura returns to old ways and no one is there to fight off her demons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to apologize for taking so long to update. I have had a lot on my schedule and honestly have no idea where this story is going to end up... so I hope you enjoy the newest chapter.  
> Hmu if you play lacrosse :)

You don't give yourself time to answer Ell's question, so you shove Carmilla's hands off your arms and try not to notice the pained expression stuck on her beautiful face. You knew something like this would happen, but you ignored the loud voices in your head and instead of letting them run their mouths you told them to shut up. What was the consequence of your actions? Oh nothing big except for your boss walking in on you man handling her girlfriend when she deliberately told you to stay away from the one woman who seems to understand what is going on in your messed up mind you call a brain.

You can hear them arguing on the other side of the door and you laugh, it may be hollow and lifeless but the sound escapes from the thought of being in the same situation a few nights ago. Choosing this time to not listen to their conversation you shift your focus back to the red liquid escaping from the insides of your arms from when Carmilla was a little too rough during her drunken state.

A shout of your name pulls your attention away from the mess and you decide to focus on the voice saying your name, at first you thinks it's Carmilla but the sharp shrill and the high pitched shout tells you otherwise. "You hear that Miss. Hollis. You are fired! F. I. R. E. D. I told you what would happen if I saw you near my girlfriend, but you didn't listen and now it cost you your job. So I hope you are happy... and also if you're still there Carmilla wanted me to tell you to never take advantage of her like that again and that she doesn't care about you or your problems." The last sentence hit you the hardest, but should it have? I mean she was never yours in the first place, so why do you already miss her? You know it's for the best and that you were smart to have pushed her away. The second thought that crosses your mind is that you no longer have a job, which means a lack of money, which leads to not paying your bills. Which in the end leads to having to borrow money from someone... 

You decide that you deserve a hot chocolate and a heaping plate of store bought chocolate chip cookies, because who has the time to bake anyways. Just as you feel your eyes begin to droop from re watching another episode from Doctor Who your phone buzzes twice, alerting you that someone has texted you. The first one reads, 

**Dad:** _I know you are probably sleeping by now, but just wanted to check in and see how work is doing? Please try to call me when you're free._

No way in hell are you going to tell your dad about what happened with Ell. You can imagine the event of him bursting through the door with moving boxes to take you back home. You cringe at the idea of living with the man who used to control all your aspects in life because of his overprotective nature. If only he knew that you are into girls that would finally shut him up and you wouldn't have to go through another conversation of how you could improve this or him giving you advice when it is clearly not needed. Pushing your dad issues aside you decide to not reply back and focus on the second message...

**Wilson:** _Have you decided to forgive me? I'm sorry for being rough last time I promise it won't happen again. I'm not busy and I thought I should hit you up._

You dry heave at the thought of him touching you again. You remember your last meetup and how you yelled at him and told him you were never coming back as you stormed out, well, as you limped out of his apartment. Re reading the text you know he's not sorry and when he says it will never happen again it's another empty promise that he has told you. The last time you went to his place you swore that you would never return, but you remember the lack of job and money you have. You have no choice but fix what you have left in life and with shakey fingers you text...

**L:**   _Sure. When?_

You are not surprised that he texted back instantly. It's also not a shock when he says that you should come over right now. His last request involves you wearing lingerie and being at his place in 15. Not having much time to think you throw on a weird lacy corset that he bought for you a long time ago and if you stare at yourself in the mirror for too long you are flashed with images of the past that you have tried to push away. Grabbing a coat and your purse you look through the peephole to make sure no one is around and leave your home with the twist of your key.

                                                                                                     ------------------------------

You approach the rustic looking apartment complex and remember the first time at his place and how you adored the old appearance. Now you just see the images of you crying and countless promises of you vowing that it will be the last time you come here. As your nerves seem to increase your usual tick starts and you start rubbing your palm against your arms as if you are trying to scrub away the memories of the past. A dull pain begins to form as your rubbing increases and you look down to see your sleeve coated with blood and remember the red slits hidden underneath. The thought of people asking, "Are you okay?" or "Why are doing this to yourself?" or the occasional, "She's just doing it for attention." Fills your mind as you slowly approach the entrance to the complex.

Once inside you immediately look to the left and see the usual sign of  **Do Not Enter** on the door of the staircase leading up to the top level. The first time you came to his place your remember seeing the sign and being unfazed with having to use the perfectly working elevator. I mean why work harder than you have to. 

But now you look at the doors and are reminded of where they take you at the end of your journey. With weak knees you step into the elevator and hit the button with the number 5 stuck on. As the machine surges upwards you begin to hyperventilate and your breathing becomes uneven and out of control. You fumble with the bag in your hands and remember the bottle of vodka hidden in one of the pockets. You take a tiny sip and your face turns into disgust from the vile taste but you will yourself to take another sip and drop it into your bag. The doors ding open and signal the end of your life.

Slowly approaching his door you tell yourself that you can leave and never come back. But you don't because you are a foolish little girl that somehow convinced herself that she can be independent. So you swallow your fears and knock on his door. Within mere seconds of retracting your hand he opens the door. Lifting your head to look into his eyes you see the usual devilish smirk glued onto his face.

"Well well well. Aren't you a sight for sore eyes. Damn have I missed you ass." He reaches up to tuck a stray piece of hair out of your face but you flinch once he gets close. "What? No sugar for daddy? You are just begging to be punished the longer you don't answer me." He reaches his hand out once again and take hold on your chin with a bit more force than usual. Forcing you to stare into his eyes he waits for a reply that he knows will not take long.

"I'm all yours," you answer with a fear tinted voice that you know he thrives on. Before you could say anything else he pulls you into his apartment and slams you roughly against the wooden door of the entrance. Without hesitation he pulls you into a bruising kiss, that makes you weak, and not in the good way. The scruff from his face scratches against your soft cheeks and lips and you are already counting down the minutes for when he is done with you. After making sure he is done kissing, he takes your bottom lip between his teeth and pulls causing you to yelp out in pain because of the tender gash still apparent on your lip. He stops and looks at you with such hatred that you believe a back hand would be received for acting out but his attention seems to be lost as you unceremoniously tug off your coat to reveal the lingerie underneath. His hands imminently go straight for your chest and he begins to paw at your breasts. Knowing he will get mad if you don't do anything you begin to fake moan in order for his pride to remain intact. He leans towards your neck and before you begins giving harsh nips along your neck you can feel the scruff from his unshaven face and cringe from the feeling. His lips are rough and hard and he doesn't seem to care. As his sucking continues you slip your hand down to the waist of his jeans and open the button with a pop and slowly tug down the fly of pants. He steps out of his jeans quicker than he would like to admit and tugs you down towards his bed. Pulling off his shirt he stares down at you as he starts stroking his bulge. He takes off his underwear and you are met with a sight that you have been trying to erase from your mind. He grabs your head and starts to inch it closer to his dick. You jerk away before you get near it because the thought of you putting it in your mouth makes you want to vomit. Thinking he wont make you do it this time you don't notice the hand he has raised until it connects to the side of your face. You start to hear a ringing noise and your eyesight is filled with black patches. Unable to move your body you feel him moving you closer to the middle of the bed.

You wake up. He is laying next to you snoring loudly. You hook your legs off the side of the bed and stand straight up with which you regret because of the shooting pain it causes to surge through your body. A mirror is in front of you and you can see your head matted down with sweat, most likely his, bite marks and scratches on your neck and a red hand print on the side of your face. Not wasting anymore time you gather your clothes, which consists of the lingerie, coat, shoes, and purse. You forgot to pack an extra pair of clothes so you squeeze the uncomfortable clothing onto your bruised body and you head out. But before reaching the door you go over to the nightstand and take the white envelope resting near the lamp. With the quick skim of your eye you can tell that all the money is there. Pushing the money filled envelope to the bottom of your purse you head out the door.

After another eventful ride down the elevator you walk out of the complex and check your phone to see that it's 8:47 in the morning. After suffering through another terrible night you decided to pay a visit to Danny the girl who works at _Sweet Treats and Coffee_ to get another hot chocolate and muffin. When reaching the quiet cafe you can't help but notice the  **Help Wanted** sign on the front door. Pushing the door open you are greeted with the familiar sight of the giant red head behind the counter. "Hey Laura, right?" she asks with excitement. 

"Yup, and you're Danny, correct?" You add so you can actually try to hold a conversation. 

"So I am assuming you want another hot chocolate and muffin since last time you kind of left abruptly and threw away everything before you had the chance to taste it."

"Yea I would love that. Sorry about leaving so urgently, I had some business to take care of and everything." You reply hoping she would buy your excuse. You also thank her for not commenting on the state of your appearance. Or maybe she hasn't noticed which is probably the case. 

"Sure! Yea no problem just wanted to make sure you are okay," she replied with an honest smile, "and here you go, one medium hot chocolate and one chocolate muffin." You start reaching down for your wallet but she stops you yet again. "No need, on the house since you didn't even get to eat the last one." You just nod your head as a thanks and bite into the muffin without having control you moan at the chocolaty goodness that has exploded into your mouth. 

"Oh my gosh Danny, this is so good!" You take a sip from the hot chocolate, "Jeez this is amazing as well! It's the right amount of sweet and chocolate!"

"I am glad you enjoyed it that much," she answers with a chuckle.

"So food aside, I couldn't help but notice the  **Help Wanted** sign on the front door. Is that still up for offer? If so what kind of job is it?"

"Uh yea, yea for sure. Well since you get here so early in the morning you haven't really seen how busy this place gets, so I need a waitress to bring people their drink orders once they have sat down. I would be happy to give you the job without an interview on one condition."

"Ummm okay anything," you reply a little uneasily.

"You have to go on a date with me,"she stated.

"Yea. Okay sounds like a deal," you thrust your hand out to shake hers. You give her a once over and think that she cannot be compared to the beauty of Carmilla, but maybe my brain is telling you to let someone in or maybe the sugar rush of the hot chocolate and muffin is clouding your judgment. 

"Alright. I hope to see you bright and early tomorrow morning for your first day of work," she said with a gleaming smile. You give her a thumbs up and head out the door, you seem to be happy with finding a job so quickly even if it doesn't involve your journalism skills. Looking towards shop windows as you walk by you can see the sad reflection staring back at you and the voices find their way back into your head. A few tell you that you are not good enough for her or that you should not show up tomorrow. You start hurrying home as quick as you can as you can feel the pain starting to seep back into your body, all you can do is rub your arm faster and faster until you are safe behind the door of your home. You think of talking to Carmilla to help with the pain but you remember Ell telling you that she never wants to see you again. So you finally make it home and slump against the door of your apartment and try to drown out the voices in your head by reaching for the bottle of vodka.   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment and spread your love or hate about my first fic  
> I have not decided when I am updating,  
> Comment any suggestions about the story if you  
> want something added to the plot :)


	5. What could go wrong with coffee?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Laura being Laura, with a few twists thrown her way during her first day of work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know how I said I will try to update regularly, but obviously I lied, not on purpose, but I wrote this chapter over the course of a few days, so unlike my other chapters this was not written in one go.
> 
> Also I dislike reading what I have written because I can easily get caught in the small details, but I skimmed over a chapter and noticed my numerous spelling errors and I want to apologize for them. Hopefully this chapter will have less, but knowing myself I will probably mess up. 
> 
> p.s. Do you guys want me to continue with this story line? Or tell me how many chapters in total do you want?

You wake up to a pounding headache and a annoying noise coming from your purse. Finally being able to open your eyes after your fitful slumber you realize that it is already morning and that you are not in your bed. It takes you a few moments to remember that bottle of vodka of which your notice is lying empty against your thigh. Normally you would cure your hangover by drinking a cup of hot chocolate while you binge Doctor Who but the idea, whether it was amazing or not, was short lived after you hear the pesky noise of your phone ringing for the billionth time. You struggle to get your purse open because of the anger boiling inside you because who the frilly hell is calling you at this time of morning. Making a swift glance towards your clock confirms the suspicion of an early morning. Finally after much concentration, you open your purse and fish out your obnoxious phone and just in time too because it sounded like it was on its last ring. Looking at the front of your phone you see that the person’s number is not saved in your contacts. With a questionable shrug you decide to pick up, “Hello?” you ask in a semi sleepy tone.

“Laura! Oh god finally, I thought I would have to come find you or something, I thought something bad happened to you...” You start recognizing the voice and match it up to the voice of Danny.

“Oh hey Danny what’s up? You know to a lot of people’s surprise I’m not really a morning person” you reply with an irritated tone.

“Umm well... maybe you forgot but today was suppose to be your first day or work and everything, remember the bright and early conversation we had” she answered with a tinge of sadness in her voice.

“Umm nope didn't forget, I was just getting ready when you called me, just caught me off guard a little” you reply with a fake giggle.

“Oh yea sure no problem. Well just so your know for tomorrow and everything... your shift started about 30 minutes ago” she said uneasily, “I don't normally let these things slide, but for you I can make an exception.” You can feel her blushing on the other end and realize how much Danny is into you.

“Haha well I’m about to leave my apartment” you lie because you are still sitting with your back against the door, “so I will see you soon, bye” you are about to hang up but a thought crosses your mind, “hey Danny?”

“Yea?”

“How did you get my number?” came the words tumbling from your mouth.

“You don't remember? You gave it to me the last time we talked” you heard Danny’s voice switch to a higher pitch and in the short time that you have known her, you know that she is lying, but you play along with her story.

“Oh yea duh, I must have forgotten or something” you can hear her let out a slight exhale after your words, “but yea I will be at the coffee shop soon. I just have to get something” your lie as your will your body upwards from your slumped position.

“Uh yea, sounds great can't wait to see you soon” Danny said before hanging up. Your plan to hurry up and to not make yourself late than you already are was short lived. Once you got both your feet to cooperate and stand up a shooting pain travelled from your head to your toes and you wish that the sudden ache was from sitting propped up all night against your door but the one to blame is, him. When fully standing and stretching out your sore muscles you begin to see black dots littering your vision and decide to blame yet another issue on the dangerous amount of alcohol you consumed last night. Stumbling towards your bathroom, your see yet another ugly bruise on the side of your face beginning to turn purple and blue. Not having the energy to smear concealer to cover it up, your decide to think of a solution for later. Looking a little further down your face you also see the familiar gash in your lip, swollen bigger than ever. Remembering the hat Danny was wearing when you spoke to her both times you conclude that the light tan cap will be apart of your uniform. Hopefully by bringing the brim of the cap lower onto your face, none of the customers will notice the bruises and gashes. Thinking back you don't remember Danny ever giving you rules for a dress code, so you dress comfortably in a soft pair of dark jeans that your are currently shimmying into and a light grey sweater, saving your more out of the box sweaters for a future morning.

The mess you call hair was attended to next because it took more time than usual because someone decided to pass out against a door. Not wanting to have to mess with it later for when you have to put on your hat your decide to deal with them by braiding it down with two braids, one on each side of your head. Hurrying out the door with your purse and your new sense of adventure your take one step out of the door and are surprised with what your see...

Nothing.

Carmilla is not there to greet you or explain the past few days. You start to feel even more sad than usual, which is a surprise because you barely know her, but still she seemed to grow on you a little, well more than you would like to admit. With that in mind you turn your key and lock your door and head down the steps of the apartment building and onto a new adventure.

                                                                                        ----------------------------------------------------------

So your suspicions of Danny were confirmed the second you walked through the door.

Trying to regain your breath from the somewhat long trek from your apartment to your new job, you are instantly bombarded with questions from none other than Danny. “Hey are you okay? I was starting to get worried when you didn't get here on time. You know if you don't feel up to it, you can start tomorrow, I think I can manage everything with it being just Perry and myself. You know, you don't look to goo--”

“Enough! Danny look, I appreciate you caring for me, but I am strong enough to get by on my own. I just lost track of time and got here a little late. I promise you it won't happen again. Just.. let's make a deal, if I get here on time for whenever I’m suppose to be here, you don't have to ask me if I'm okay every five seconds. Deal?” You thrust your hand towards her to show that you mean business.

“...deal” she replies in an embarrassed tone. “So since you got all that over with” she says weakly, “I guess I can show you around and explain what you will be doing... if that's cool with you?”

“Look Danny, you can talk to me normally and not act like you are walking on eggshells. Just tell me what to do and hopefully things won't be as awkward.”

“Yea okay cool. I can do that, no problem. Hmm so let's see well right now we are standing in the social area, this is where the customers sit and drink their coffee, your job will just be giving out the drink orders to the waiting customer. Sometimes if it gets too overwhelming we call out the customer's name and they walk up but majority of the time it will be you carrying out the orders. Just think of it as if you are a waitress, except the part where you take the order, that will be done when they come to the cash register, where yours truly will be working, and that's where they will ordering. So, you got everything so far?”

“Uhh yea, yup got everything right up here.” You answer with a smile, but you realize how close she has stood next to you, so you try not be too obvious to you shuffling in the other direction, and that’s when you hear the voices... come on Laura she's not that bad. We know you want her. All it takes is a flirty comment and she’ll be yours... You don't realize Danny is talking to you until she is snapping her large fingers right in front of your face. “Whaa, yea yea I'm fine, I’m good. What were you saying?”

“I was just telling you about our cook Perry. She's in the back right now baking the cookies and muffins and everything for today. I’m sure she will be done in a little bit and you guys can be formally introduced. Well..” Danny looks down at her watch, “we have about an hour before this place opens so,” she reaches behind the counter with cash register and pulls out a uniform, “so this is your uniform, you are required to wear this everyday, I hope I got the right sized apron and feel free to look around and familiarize this place if you so please.” And with that she gives you an honest smile and heads to the back, to where the cook Perry is working.

You look down to the folded uniform in your hand and see a black apron with an embroidered _Sweet Treats and Coffee_ on the front and a tan hat with the same logo as the apron. You pull the apron on first and it's the perfect fit, next you place the tan hat on you head and pull it snugly down your forehead to where it's tipped downwards across your eyes. Seeing a mirror off to your left you walk over to see your reflection and sigh a relief to see that the cap covers the marks on your face. When looking at yourself longer you can tell the cut on your lips is visible only if someone stares at you for long enough, so you remind yourself to not look at people directly for too long.

Once done looking at the antique mirror, you look around the cafe and get a hipster/cozy vibe, that you can't tell if you love or hate. Looking further back into the cafe you see a cozy black couch just waiting for you to sit on it, that has a small coffee table in front of it. Towards the front of the cafe are high stooled chairs surrounding small circular tables. You laugh at the fact that you made a horrible cup of coffee for your ex boss and now you are working at a coffee shop. Deciding that you deserve a break from standing you walk over to the black couch and sink yourself into the comfy cushions. Before you know it, yours eyes are starting to droop and you tell yourself that a quick nap wouldn't hurt anyone.

Just like you feel like you are tumbling into a nice sleep you are being shaken by an unknown hand against your shoulder. Your brain catches up to the physical contact and you jolt awake and dodge away from the unknown hand. Your eyes are fully wide now and your hands are gripping the black cushions beneath you till your knuckles turn white and you see Danny with a concerned look on her face. “Umm yea... uhh, I just came over here to tell you that we opened this place about 20 minutes ago and now people are starting to come in. So if you could just start carrying out orders that would be great.” She gives you a thumbs up and returns to the long line waiting at the cash register. You see bright red curls also behind the counter and assume that is Perry and wait to introduce yourself when the cafe is less congested.

You walk over to the area of the counter where the coffees are coming out and you see the #7 written on a coffee cup and you scoop it onto a waitress tray and look for a small tent on a table with the corresponding number. You see a middle aged man with the number and walk over and place the cup on the table and he looks up and smiles as a thank you for the coffee. You then pick up the tent and return it back to the counter and scoop up another cup. This time instead of carrying a to go cup, this next one is in a steaming mug with a leaf on the top of it. You chuckle at the cliche of the “coffee art” and as you turn around with the mug on the tray someone bumps into you, causing the the scalding hot liquid to burn onto your chest. You look up to see a teenage boy with a shocked/embarrassed look on his face. “Oh my gosh dude I am so sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going and didn't see you because of your tiny size. It's okay I got this under control.” You see him disappear into the crowd and come back with a wad of napkins in his hand and he starts smashing the towels against your chest to try and get the coffee off.

Clearly noticing that he doesn't know what he was doing you grab the napkins from his hands and reply, “Oh no it's okay. I think I got it from here, thank you for trying to help.” This was said through gritted teeth because you know it would be bad for you to be fired for yelling at a kid on your first day. You decide to tend to the coffee stain later and surprisingly the mug did not crack on it's trip to the floor. You pick it up along with the tray and use the napkins the boy gave you to clean the puddle of coffee up off the floor. Turning to look at Danny to see if she saw the incident and of course she did. You point to your stained clothes, because yes the apron did not protect your sweater and now the wooly fabric is sticking to your skin. Danny replies with a nod and so you travel your way to the back to go to the employee bathroom. On your way you see Perry pulling out some chocolate chip cookies and cupcakes fresh from the oven. Your mouth starts to water at the sight of them. Perry turns and sees you staring, “Oh hello! You must be Laura, I am so glad to see you, I was wondering if I would be able to introduce myself. My name is Perry and I am the cook slash baker of this cafe.”

She seems like a nice friendly person, so with the same enthusiasm you reply, “It's so nice to meet you and yes I am Laura. I hate to cut this off short but I have seemed to have spilled coffee all over myself and I can't find the bathroom.”

“Oh so many stains! You need to clean that up as fast as you can. Here let me show you the way.” She starts ushering you to the direction in which you hope is the bathroom and to your luck it is. “So here is the bathroom, do you need any help, cleaning is kind of my specialty along side with baking.”

“No I think I am good, but thanks for the offer. I shouldn't be too long” you say.

“Okay just remember dab don't rub” she adds as she turns to leave. You pull the bathroom door shut behind you and you take off your hat and your apron. Next you take off your sweater and try to run out the coffee with warm water but to your luck it seems to be stuck in there. Luckily you put on a camisole under your sweater this morning so you have no choice but to wear just that. Your thoughts are interrupted by a knocking at the door.

“Hey sweetie, it's Perry again, I know you’re trying to get the coffee situation under control but I just peeked out into the front and saw a lot of people waiting in line and a few orders already waiting to be served on the counter. If you need more time just let me know, I could cover for you, if necessary...”

“Oh no I’ll be right out, no need to cover for me.” You reply with as much fake enthusiasm a you can muster. “I should be out in a minute.”

“Alright sounds perfect to me,” Perry replies. After a few more moments to yourself before you pull on your lightly stained apron and fix your hat back onto your head, making sure you pull it further down just incase. You give yourself a once over to make sure everything is in order and head out the door. To your surprise once exiting the bathroom you see a cupcake near a table next to the bathroom and assume it's from Perry. Scooping up the sugary sweet and heading towards the counter of the cafe you eat the entire chocolatey goodness in three bites.

Once at the counter you look over to see Danny staring at you, she is kind of giving you a creepy possessive vibe, but you ignore the feeling and just give her a shake of your head to let her know that you are fine. Receiving the same gesture back from her, you return back to your work. Looking down to the numerous cups in front of you, you decide to pick up a mug that seems darker than a black hole. Yuck! A shiver goes down your spine just thinking of the act of drinking black coffee... or coffee in general. You then look and see the tent for the mug and it shows the #3 written on it. Hoping to get back to business you place the mug along with the tent on a tray and you start looking for the corresponding number. After a few minutes of searching you finally see the tent on the coffee table in front of the couch you previously took a nap on. Next to the tent you see a pair of arms resting on the small table holding what seemed to be a very old book. Letting your eyes travel upwards to see the rest of the customer, you immediately wish you hadn't because you feel your heart stop. It’s...

Carmilla.

She doesn't seem to see you quite yet so you slowly start moving backwards but as if she noticed your presence her eyes shoot up from the book she seemed to be very interested a few moments ago and you lock eyes with her. You push through the pain of seeing her again and will your body to turn around, but before you turn you see confusion and sadness and a bit of anger written on her face.

You finally start walking back to the front of the cafe with the voices in your head replaying the moment of Ell telling you Carmilla never wants to see you again. _You’re worthless. She doesn't care about your problems. Leave her alone._

You scrunch up your face as if it will help block out the voices but they seem to becoming stronger. Realizing you don't have much time before they start becoming louder, you walk towards Danny and say, “Hey Danny, can you go serve this to its customer. I'm not feeling too well.” You have never been a good liar and you see that Danny knows you're not telling her the truth but she keeps her mouth shut.

“Uh yea, no problem Laura. Just take my place at the cash register and we should be able to trade back in a few minutes and hopefully that's long enough for you to feel better,” she replies with a smile.

“Okay cool, sounds great,” you reply with a fake smile. You look up to see Danny walking away with her strong stature and the voices come back again.

_You are weak. No one will ever love you..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment and spread your love or hate about my first fic  
> I have not decided when I am updating,  
> Comment any suggestions about the story if you  
> want something added to the plot :)


	6. Grey Flannels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing the events within the coffee shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Yes I have not been posting as often as I would like. Unfortunately I like writing very early in the morning or very late at night but my schedule has been thrown off because of swim practices I have to wake up for. But I'm not complaining because I have to get a 6-pack somehow but it doesn't help that I eat a lot after practice and now I am off topic. I had this chapter written since the beginning of this month but didn't have the time to wrap it up, and therefore leading to a long time between updates. I would also like to repeat that I have no idea where this story will end up so bare with me :) Well I'm going to leave you off and go take a nap now  
> p.s. keep commenting because I love talking to people!

Just mere seconds of Danny leaving the front counter you can feel the voices becoming louder and stronger, trying to escape from the confined space of your mind as they pound against the inside of your skull. Taking a break is not an option but looking in front of you, there are no new customers looking for their morning caffeine fix. So the only way to stop yourself from collapsing from fatigue is to grip onto the counter space in front of you and hope that the white knuckled hands can be enough pain to muffle the voices from your head. With an added breathing technique, they seem to loose interest in making your life a living hell and decide to leave you alone, for awhile. Stretching your now sore hands you look up to see Danny walking towards you, with a pained expression on her face, but what catches your eye the most is that on her tray is still the same stupid black cup of coffee she picked up a few minutes before.

“Uhh yea, so I tried to give this cup to the right customer, but she refused to take it from me.” Danny said uneasily.

“Wait, what? Are you sure? What did she say” You reply with a confused tone.

“Laura you’re not really friends or anything with this gir--”

“Danny! A. it's none of your business if shes my friends or not and B. what did she say?!”

“Okay okay geez I’ll tell. So I went up to her and was about to place the mug next to her because I saw she had the same number on the tent but then she said...

**Carmilla’s pov**

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” came the words harshly from your mouth.

“Uh uh, I'm giving you your order? You ordered a black coffee without cream or sugar, correct?”

“Uhh duh no shit” you mocked. “I was asking the obvious question of why you are giving me my coffee instead of Laura?”

“Umm well, she told me that she wasn't feeling well so I took over her jo-” “Okay listen dimwit, and listen closely because I know ginger giants like you are incompetent in trying to listen to others.” You can tell by the way Xena is closing her hand into a tight fist that you are making her mad, which makes you smirk because your plan is working. “So as a customer, I refuse to receive my coffee from you,” you end with a smirk.

“And can I ask why?” Danny asked dumbfounded by your words.

“Well let's just put it this way, your appearance is disturbing me.” You use your hands in a scootching motion to show that she can walk away now. When she has walked a bit of a distance you can hear her mutter a “bitch” escape from her manly lips.

**Laura’s pov**

“Yea and then I walked away, and now I am here, answering your numerous questions and not having the chance to ask mine.”

“Okay fine Danny, what do you want to know?” You say irritably.

“I mean is she like your friend? Oh wait no, she's your girlfriend isn't she, that's why she got so bitchy when I tried to give her the coffee instead of you!”

“No Danny she is not my girlfriend, she's just my next door neighbor, you know what this is getting ridiculous, I’ll do it myself.” You take the tray from Danny’s hands before she can say anything else. You make your way back to the couch and see Carmilla once again deeply interested in her book. Trying to make the drop off with no conversation would be difficult but you know you can do it. So you take a few quick steps towards her and swiftly take the mug and place it on the coffee table and you believe everything will play through without a hitch but as you are reaching for the small tent on the table, Carmilla grabs your wrist with such a strong force that causes you a slight pain which travels up your arm.

“Stop.” She says in a weak voice, which catches you off guard from her usual flirty tone being the only thing you hear escape from those perfect lips. “Why have you been ignoring me?” you hear her voice crack a little. You decide to not answer because you believe she is in a moment of weakness and will regret talking to you later. “Sweetheart,” she looks up to you with pleading eyes, “please talk to me.” You look away to avoid the possibility of your eyes watering. She takes the tray that you seemed to have forgotten about from your hands and places it on the table in front of her. Next with her arm still gripping tightly onto your wrist she pulls you closer to her until you have no choice but to sit on the couch next to her.

“You want to know the truth,” you croak out. She nods her head quickly. “I wanted to see you, I wanted to talk to you and open myself up to you, to finally let someone in, but then you pushed me away! Ell told me you never wanted to see me again, so I told myself to not throw a pity party for my sorrows and went to see him and the--”

“Wait what are you talking about?” She questioned with a confused look.

“Well I may or may not have been sitting against my door after Ell yelled at me for talking to you and as I was going to go to bed” which is a lie, you planned on crying there all night, “I heard Ell’s voice again and she was screaming at me that I am fired and that you never want to see me ever again. I assumed she was telling me the truth because whenever I opened my door you were never there and I felt so lonely. I decided to see him again and it was a mistak--”

“Laura shh relax.” She grips your face with such a gentle embrace that you don't mind her touching you. The mere thought of someone caring for you puts you through another spasm of tears and sobs. Seeing that she is causing you distress she pulls you closer to her chest, where heat is radiating off her body and onto you causing a soothing effect. Besides the heat you can hear a hard pounding coming from her chest and the corners of your mouth twitch up into a smile, because she is having the same effect on you. You are interrupted from your thoughts, “Laura. Laura? You still with me?” Not having the energy to vocally answer you just nod your head against your chest. Noticing you are not ready to talk yet she begins to slowly trace small patterns on your bare shoulder as she sits and waits. You feel her arm travel up the length of your arm up your neck and to your head where she gently takes off your hat. You are about to complain but you feel cool soothing hands begin to massage your scalp and you forget the reason for why you were going to complain.

Now having your emotions in check, you fully realize how close in proximity the both of you are. The hand placed so carelessly on your head causes goosebumps to rise on your arms and you pretend to shiver to make it seem like you're cold and instead of you know what. Carmilla seems to notice and you feel her nudging you into a sitting position as she takes off her flannel. As she is so cutely struggling to get the fabric off of her shoulders you take in her appearance from being able to see her for more than five minutes.

You notice her hair, usually down with it's curly waves is now thrown up into a messy bun. Your eyes travel down to her face and see black thick framed glasses perched on her nose and you remind yourself that if you ever see her again that you ask her to wear them more often. You can't remember her eye color but you think it's brown because she still hasn't looked at you since sitting you upwards and the concentrated face she is making from the struggle of taking off her flannel is very cute and a tiny bit adorable. From the profile of her face you see large bags under her eyes and notice that she is not a morning person. Settling onto her lips you can see they are just as kissable as they were when you found her in the hallway drunk. Quickly averting your gaze to calm down the blush that you feel has creeped onto your face you see her jawline and wow. It looks as if it could cut diamonds and that would probably be an understatement. Last you take in her outfit and see she has gotten her flannel almost off and underneath she is wearing a black camisole paired with a black pair of jeans and to top it off a worn out pair of combat boots. The only non black clothing that you can see of course, is her flannel which is now in her hands which is a dark grey. Her gaze finally seems to settle on your face, but before you can reach out to grab the flannel from her you see her eyes grow wide with surprise.

“Laura yo-- your face?!” At first you are confused and hope there's not like chocolate or something smeared on your cheek so you take the back of your hand to wipe it across your skin to hopefully get the substance off. As your hand touches your face you yelp in pain and realize that Carmilla is not talking about food on your face but she can see the cuts and bruises all over your face. You quickly duck your head down for her to not see anymore and notice the hat resting on top of Carmilla’s thighs. You reach out before she knows what you are doing and grab the hat and jam it back onto your head.

“Laura! Wha- what happened to you?” Comes tumbling out of Carmilla’s mouth. You decide that telling her what truly happened is not an option so you play to your strong suit and act oblivious to the current situation. You shift your body to the side and cross your legs so the both of you are more face to face and she copies your movement.

“Oh yea... about that well last night I hung out with my friends and we went to this bar and before I know it I was drinking like my fourth? No, it was my fifth drink and so I decided I wanted to start dancing and everything. Before I could make it to the dancefloor, oh clumsy me, I tripped over my own feet, and I guess I had a lot to drink and forgot to put my hands out in front of me. No biggie though it doesn't hurt at all.” You throw in a fake smile to help Carmilla buy your story but it comes out more as a grimace and even when your face is half hidden by the hat she still notices.

“...so you're telling me that a busted up lip and scratches all over your face was from you falling on your way to the dance floor?” You don't trust your voice to answer so you just nod your head with as enough enthusiasm to make it believable. Still not convinced she reaches her hand out towards your face but seeing the action even if it's from someone that won't hurt you, you still flinch back. She notices the action but decides to not comment on it. Using more precaution she places her hands on your thighs very lightly just as a way to show you that she is there and nothing bad will happen. Unable to look her any longer you bow your head down and decide to watch her movements. As she is sliding her hands further towards your stomach she suddenly stops her caressing and retracts her hands from your legs. You're about to look up from bowed head to see if regret is all over her face but before you make up your mind you feel arms come around your body and place a wooly material over your shoulders. Looking from your lap to your side you see the old flannel that Carmilla took off for you earlier. A smile stretches across your face because as you lean closer to the fabric it smells like Carmilla, a deep earthy tone and black coffee. To you it feels... safe, you chuckle at the idea and brush it off like you do with most of your ideas. You feel the couch right in front of you dip a little bit and from your position you see Carmilla’s folded legs right in front of you. Her hands slowly creep up to your thighs yet again and this time she starts tracing small patterns as her hands travel upwards. As her hands reach your waist it's as if time has slowed down. You can no longer hear the bustling of the busy cafe but only the noise of your heartbeat beginning to become louder in your ears.

Everything is quiet. But then you hear it, the voices have seemed to wanted to join you yet again. You begin to rub your arm with the fear of what will come from your mind next. _Oh little Laura, thought you could hide from us? You can't shut us out! You believe this girl likes you? The only reason she is talking to you is because she is doing it out of pity. Do you really think she wanted to spend her morning taking care of you? You’re a waste of space and you should kill yoursel--_

They disappear as quickly as they came when you feel a soft cool hand tug gently on your chin. Another hand rests on the continuously moving arm as a way to stop your movements and luckily it works. It doesn't feel like it's him. You're not being forced up against the wall and kissed hard and not with passion but with force and anger. The hand now caressing your face cannot even compare to him, it's too loving and delicate. She is now angling your head upwards so she can look into your eyes and as you hold her gaze she looks as if she is on the verge of crying. She then tilts your head to the side, clearly trying to look at the rest of your face. Something you wanted to object to but you don't have the energy to do so. You feel light fingertips graze over your cheek and you wince in pain. She opens her mouth to say something but closes it as she decides to think it over.

“You know sweetheart, nothing good will ever happen to you if you keep lying to me.”

“I'm not lying! I'm telling the truth.” The last part of the sentence wavered a little, due to the fact that you are a terrible liar.

“Well then would you like to explain the bruise shaped like a hand on the side of your face.” You weren’t expecting her to notice and you keep your mouth shut while thinking of another reply to throw at her.

“Umm you see--”

“Laura, please, if it's another lie then I don't want to hear it. Do- do you not trust me?” You can tell that she is hurt and you know now that she can see right through you.

“I- I don't know what to say...” The tears that you have kept at bay seem to have a mind of their own as they quickly begin pouring from your eyes. “I barely know you and for all I know you could be just messing with me for your own amusment.” You know you hurt her because her perfect eyebrows are no longer furrowed with concern but now have dropped with sadness and a hint of guilt. You can tell she is hesitating for what to say next because yet again you have left her speechless and not in the good way. While Carmilla is taking her time you finally notice by looking at the clock at the front of the cafe you have been sitting with her for the past 20 minutes. Knowing Danny will probably come storming towards the two of you in a few minutes you decide that you have to return back to work. Shifting your gaze from the clock back to Carmilla you notice the same hesitant look on her face. Before you ask her what’s wrong, she leans towards you and moves her face a mere inches from yours. You see her eyes flicker to your lips and the act makes you bite your own. She just keeps looking at them and not moving any closer. You finally realize by the awkward shifting and clasped hands that she is nervous. Not thinking of the consequences you lean forward and capture your lips with hers. You feel her hands coming to rest on your neck as she pulls you in closer to deepen the kiss. Which wow feels amazing, her lips are as smooth as velvet and the taste of them makes you go crazy. You are interrupted from your thoughts as the takes your bottom lip and bites it while giving it a small tug. You finally open your eyes to see that she is a bit further away from where she was a few seconds ago. Looking closer into her eyes you see the same hesitance as before which causes you to shake you from your trance that you have seemed to be in for the past 20 minutes. All of your thoughts come flooding back, _she doesn't love you or even like you. We can't wait for him to find out you've been doing. Are you stupid don't you know she has a girlfriend? Not surprised little Laura falling in love with women who are unavailable, that's so sad._ Trying to get the voices from making the situation any worse than it already is, you feel the need to make a quick exit.

“Look Carmill--” you begin to say.

“Please just give me a chance,” she interjects. “You know I’m not as bad as everyone plays me out to be.” You know that she meant it for a joke but the crack in her voice shows otherwise. “If you could just give me a chance. I know you felt something too after that kiss, to me i-it feels as if all my problems are lifted off my shoulders and that I can finally breathe and everytime I look at you, I know I just know I need to be with you.” The weight of what she just put on you is too much. You can't do this and she notices by the way that you won't meet her eye and your gaze has settled on her now very much cold coffee. “Listen Laura,” she grabs your chins so that the two of you now are looking at one another. “Just don't say anything just listen to me. I know somehow you feel the same way and if I have to uncover that feeling deep inside you I will spend the rest of my life doing so. So on that note I am officially taking you on a date tomorrow night at 7.” You open your mouth to stop her but she won't let you. She removes her finger from your lips and continues. “And if I show up and you don't answer I’ll spend all night waiting for you.” With that she gets up off the couch and doesn't give you anytime to answer her. All you see is her walking away with a little extra sway in her lips that causes a slight blush to creep up your neck. You allow a small smile to stretch across your face but it is short lived when you hear a voice within your head whisper,

_She’s lying to you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter.  
> Quick question: I have a tumblr...  
> should I leave it on the next chapter or... nah??


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